too many times i come back to you; like it was the first day i said goodbye. in my loneliness and confusion, you are there..haunting me. for some reason i can't let you go. it was an emotion i had never felt before; it was a feeling i have never felt since. and yet, you stand at a distance trying to tell me you never gave up your love; and i can only push you away for fear of your lies. how many times have you done this before? how many times have you said those same words? how many more times will you let yourself fall prey?
i can no longer keep you away. i tried for so long. you come back only to destroy me and i hate you for that. sometimes...sometimes, you just need to go away and let me live...

...but i know you won't. and i know i won't let you.

as the seasons turn...

...you become less of a person than i thought you'd be. today i saw your failure. the one i knew would happen all along. today your reality came to mine and i know that phased you in some way. today you let me down...you let you down...you let him down. today you became nothing more than you ever could be. the entrapment that you allow yourself to fall into; nay chose to divulge in, will overcome you and consume you in the end. today you killed yourself..you let yourself die. not searching for light, not searching for freedom, but hoping for death and advancing it's icy claws as you take one last breath. today you saw the end, the easy way out, and you chose it. tomorrow...tomorrow no longer exists for you. you became all you ever allowed yourself to be....no longer looking beyond your shortcomings and persevering, but ending it all with one last breath. one last choice to die and forget advancing. no longer living beyond your selfishness, but living for that moment of relief from responsibility and reality. today you let me down, but more importantly, today you gave him up...gave yourself up, and forfeited the challenge.

today....today you died to me.... because so long ago, you died to you.