you know who you are

Thursday, July 31, 2008

and you know all you've been. and even though the time and distance may separate you from your choices, your dreams will always be tainted. i see and hear your tragedy. your words will always be fueled by the same. i know who you are, and you know why you hide. you're better than this. but for once, for once in quite some time, i can say i'm no longer pinned by your words. i hurt for you. i ache because i know your next step. but it was never about me and always about you. and for that, i still held it together. with this next step and changed future, i recognize my happiness. the future i could never have had but always strived for. today is a bright day. and tomorrow is even brighter. my steps have progressed. thank you for letting them move. i despise you for how long you held them back. but you, my old friend, you still need to break free. and it's for you that i write this. it's for you that i say let go. it's for you that i say press onward. you'll never know freedom until you give up your facade. you are better than this. where has your poetry gone? where has your originality gone? where has your heart on your sleeve and soul cut open for all to see, gone? i'm happy for your strength. i'm happy for your new adventure and the steps that are ahead of you. but please, don't give up and settle for who and where you are now. your intelligence exceeds your stance now. and your mind is far too complex to spew out simple things of love, heartache, and mistakes. what may consume us now, will disappear with time and action. today i sit here thinking of you. thinking of you for your lost agenda. thinking of you, no longer with anger and bitterness, but with empathy and hope. hope that you, as a soul, will find your truth in the end. the truth that drove you to this, and the truth that drives you now. you will never know my pain, and my happiness all at once. and so i tell you. but you will never feel that again or get that glimpse. and for you, i whisper into the wind...keep pushing on..don't give up that fire that incinerates everything in its path in order to achieve that passion you once longed for so strongly. that passion that fills your head day and night and pours out from your heart. the passion that can never be turned off nor given up on. don't allow it to fade. don't allow it to be overcome. you are stronger than who you've become and i know you'll advance on. just don't give up yet. your new words only mirror your struggle of the past. and yet, i find comfort that you are trying to appear happy. happy with your decisions and new life. the reflection will eventually overwhelm you. when that happens, i will no longer be close by. but you will be ok. and i hope that someday we meet again. on a different level. a level of compromise and compassion. you know who i am. and you know i know the truth. you know i hit that core; i saw it in your eyes that day. and it's for that one moment, that moment that was beyond time and circumstance, that i know you are not where you need to be. and it's for that moment, that one single moment, that i will remember you with gratitude for teaching me pain. a pain that almost consumed me, but a pain that i overcame. a memory that i am actively overcoming when its broken pieces try to demolish my growth. but you, my old friend, that moment will haunt your mind. as much as you repress it, it will arise. and on that day, i will think of you at my distance, and once again whisper encouragement into the wind to keep pressing on...
you know who you are…and i say to you, keep pressing on…